Farewell SMBC

[Hi Blog, remember me?]

This week, we're saying goodbye to SMBC. It's nice that it doesn't drag on too long: a week of hectic project-work, a week of exams, and now a week of saying goodbye. We had the project fair on Tuesday, our Graduates Retreat yesterday (Wednesday), the End of Year Dinner on Friday, and Graduation on Saturday.

Don Carson made the remark that what we call Graduation (the end of an era), Americans would call Commencement--i.e. that this is the beginning of the rest of our lives.

So this is a chance to pause and reflect. To think about what has happened.

A big part of the feedback yesterday was the awesome-ness of community. SMBC prides itself on this, and this is especially true of the residential students. Living with other Christians 24/7 is, and would be an amazing experience, intense for both emotions and growth.

Every now and again (and 'now' really means 'now'), I wonder with regret what might have been. Sarah and I were supposed to be in college accommodation, but due to a clerical error, our application was lost, and we were never contacted. So we ended up in our house in Dunmore Street. And although part of me wants to dwell in what might have been, I need to remind myself how good it has been: we've loved this house. This house is where we brought our children home to, and its the only home they've ever known. It's been good to us and good for us. I wouldn't trade this special time with our family for anything. We haven't been as immersed in the college community, but we've thrown ourselves into Soma, and that will be our home for years to come, God willing.

So, changes?

SMBC has changed me in crazy, immense, ways, that I'm only starting to figure out, and come to terms with.

I came to college thinking I'd only do a year full-time, and then go to part-time whilst pursuing other ministry. I was really excited about all the practical subjects: church planting, evangelism, preaching, missions. I never intended to learn Hebrew. I didn't plan on doing a project.

Instead, here I am. It's been three awesome full-time years. I did almost none of the practical subjects (that weren't compulsory)--rather I chose more Bible and theology subjects. I did a project... on Jeremiah, of all things. And I did Hebrew, and loved it.

But its been more than that. Don Carson talked the other day about the difference between reading and study, and the difference between study and research. I definitely feel that between first-year and now, I've learned how to do research. In fact, I get excited about it, and the possibility of doing post-graduate study is very attractive. Somewhere along the line, we got taught it--how to read and think intelligently, academically, critically, insightfully. How to critique with insight and discernment, but with balance, humility, gentleness and respect.

Before I went to college, someone once said that SMBC was a Bible college, not a theological college, and that was a significant difference. I'm now somewhat dubious of that distinction, if indeed it exists. We've learnt a lot about the Bible, but there's been a great deal of theology too. I'm not sure if the two are ever really separated, in truth. Except artificially, between the different faculties of the academy.

I've also been granted a bigger view of God, and a more balanced view of life, and living in God's creation, whilst waiting for the end. Undeniably, the ministry of people like Stuart Coulton and Kirk Patston have left and irrevocable mark on my soul; and there's an attractiveness about being able to combine academic rigour with gentleness and balance, dogmatism about the Bible and the word of God, without being combative about subjects that can be disagreed about. I think I've really started to understand the Old Testament, and I love embracing the ambiguity of the Old Testament; and it makes a helpful counterpoint to the propositions and the sharp lines of the New Testament that I've grown up with (Christian-ly speaking).

In part, I think I'll only start to miss SMBC when I'm gone.