• Grunge. Techno. Boy bands. Both President Bushes. These are just a few of the things Guns N' Roses has improbably outlasted.
• Effectively narcissistic
• [The album is] a long way off from every rock fan over 30's worst nightmare: a fat Axl with dreadlocks making a techno record about political life in Beijing with some dude in a Kentucky Fried Chicken hat.
• Reviewing Chinese Democracy is not like reviewing music. It's more like reviewing a unicorn.
• A convulsive single disc of supershred guitars, orchestral fanfares, hip-hop electronics, metallic tabernacle choirs and Axl Rose's still-virile, rusted-siren singing.
• Rose's still-astounding vocals [is] often multitracked into a paranoid boys chorus.”
• [Buckethead’s guitar solo is the] sonic equivalent of a Russian robot wrestling a reticulating python.
• The explanation as to why Chinese Democracy took so long to complete is not simply because Axl Rose is an insecure perfectionist; it's because Axl Rose self-identifies as a serious, unnatural artist.
• Pros: power ballads. Cons: techno influence.

I find telling people about it a bit like having a baby... well, the bits that I'm familiar with, anyway.

So, much as we have actually put pen to paper, and have a contract with our names, our signatures, and a price on it, one wonders if it would actually be more prudent to wait til after the all-important cooling-off period. After all, if some unpleasantness is uncovered by our conveyancers/solicitors in the next few days, then we could potentially abort, and leave behind our deposit with some sadness. A bit like a miscarriage.

Once again, we enter into a phase where there are all sorts of experts in fields I know nothing about (pest inspecting, building-inspecting, conveyancing, renovations) and I'm seeking out everyone's ideas and trying to figure out what we need and what we can get away with. I.e., do we need to have a bassinet and a cot and a pram and a stroller and a car-seat and a change table? Some friends of friends used their dining table as a change table, and a washing basket as a bassinet... could that work for us? Do I need an expert to do our re-grouting or is that something I can do myself with time, effort, and research?

Everyone, family and friends, has an opinion. I just do what I do best, listening to everyone, weighing the mountain of the advice, and (eventually) settling on something that will work for us and our baby (and our house).

§

Okay, so here's where Grace comes in.

I've been observing myself as I tell people about our news today.

The thing I find most diffcult—more difficult than the timing, the cooling-off period, etc—is the whole aspect of grace.

I am no longer a highly paid IT professional. I am a ministry trainee who gets paid ¼ of what I did. Next year, I will become a full-time Bible college student, earning even less than what I get paid now.

So any observant person would realise that there is no way.... no way that I could possibly afford a house like ours on my own. At all.

My father, who has a penchant for generosity, is buying the house for us.

In reality, he's not even buying it as an investment property, which I am often tempted to say... a full-time mum and a bible college student wouldn't even be able to afford to pay market rent. He's buying it because he loves us, and wants to give us somewhere to live.

This is grace, pure and simple. Unmerited generosity. Undeserved and unearned favour.

And, in my human nature, I rebel against the idea of grace.

The idea that my father is doing something in his self-interest, investing in property sounds a better story. When I say he's "helping" us buy a house, it sounds like their chipping in, when in fact they're contributing the entire sum.

The liar and the sinner and the social conformist in me wants to explain away grace. I am ashamed of it. I am ashamed of undeserved wealth, and the affluence of my family. Most people in my situation couldn't do this... live in a veritable mansion they didn't pay for. They struggle and scrape to get through college.

How ought I to respond?

Firstly, I could either be thankful, or ungrateful. I could take our riches for granted, or I could remember, and keep reminding myself all of this, too, comes from God. My father is the father God gave me, and his riches too come from God.

Secondly, I could keep quiet about it (in my embarrassment) or I could be vocal about it. I could sing praises of the one who has been generous to me, or I could be ashamed of my father and my Heavenly Father. I think there's a warning against that somewhere. (Mark 8:38).

Thirdly, I remember this: that those to whom much is given, much is required. I hope and pray that this house is something that we can use for the glory of God. I hope it is a house where we can be hospitable in. I hope it is a house where we can raise godly children who love the Lord Jesus. I hope it is a house where the Bible is read. I hope it is a house in which people will see the people of God in action, despite imperfection. I hope it is a house where we can share our lives with others.

Pray for us. And pray for me that I might live and act as I should.]]> General http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=777 Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:31:02 +0900 http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=775 S: I think my stomach just had a heart-attack.
H: ...uh... is that even physically possible?
S: You're not physically possible!
H: [thinks: *phew* Sarah must be okay then.]]]> General http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=775 Tue, 18 Nov 2008 05:48:49 +0900 http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=773 Our child will be born in March 2009.

If my maths works right, then their life should look something like this:

• 2014: Age 5, First day at school
• 2021: Age 12, Enters that wonderful twilight world known as high school
• 2022: Welcome to the wonderful world of adolescence, and teenage rebellion!
• 2025: The roads become a much more dangerous place...
• 2026: Our car tends to disappear far more frequently than it used to. Apparently they let babies drive when they get to 17. On their own.
• 2027: Scarily enough, university... bars and nightclubs await. Legally. Of course, they won't drink at all before this date. Not at all.
• 2030: All those baby photos and videos we're going to take get pulled out of storage (off a hard disk, no doubt) and dusted off for compulsory embarrassment.

But then I'm wondering... how many people will it affect? Most blogs I read these days are via Google reader, which means that I rarely get to appreciate the wonderful web designs of the originating website.

I could hack my RSS feeder...maybe sneak more formatting into the HTML. But that would be sneaky and probably break a lot of things for a lot of other readers...

Should I bother?]]> General http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=769 Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:58:33 +1000 http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=767 have to tell someone about it!

DET is pretty good at annoyingly blocking all sorts of useful sites. Like Hotmail, GMail, Amazon, Ebay... even Zazz is blocked!

So I resigned myself to never being able to access my email at School... Until just now. Because I just figured out:

• http://mail.google.com: BLOCKED!
• https://mail.google.com: ...mail loading...

But on the whole, I find myself oddly struck by the fact that there are quite a few things I don't feel as strongly about as I should.

For instance, I'd expect myself to be feeling a lot stronger an attachment to the QHAC church building. After all, it is the church I've been at for 4 years. It's the place where I met Sarah. It's the place where we married, and the place where I've worked, and the home of many late-night games of Ticket to Ride.

For all that, I don't think I'll miss it too much.

I think I'm more attached to our house than Sarah is. This is the first place we lived in when we got married (and I really should take some photos to remember it by). And it's a nice house, it's small, and simple, and elegant, and there's a lot of things to like. Of course, that's hard to remember in the bustle of our daily clutter. We have too much stuff—have had too much stuff since we got married, and have continued to accumulate... because that's the sort of people we are.

All in all, I think the prospect of living in a new house next year is actually pretty exciting; like Sarah keeps saying, we were both used to living in new houses every year or two... So the prospect of living somewhere new is just exciting. But the prospect of buying a house? Scary as.]]> General http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=763 Sat, 18 Oct 2008 07:06:16 +1000 http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=761 Nevertheless, I am quite tired, there is lots to talk about, and to vent, as well.

Of course, that probably means some inquisitive punk has just googled me and found my blog, which one of the leaders unhelpfully mentioned I had. If that's you... welcome to my blog. I talk about anything I damn well want over here, and if you don't like that, you can stop reading.

It occurs to me that I've had of week of teenage kid ministry, and I realise how little exposure I've had to it thus far. Especially the weird psychology of groups, peer pressure, and boy-girl stupidity. At Wyndham, there are structures to deal with discipline and I just do the light fluffy stuff. Here, I spent a week being the bad-ass enforcer (which is not a role I particularly enjoy), and dealing with kids I have no prior connection to.

Interesting.

I wasn't particularly surprised by stupidity, especially from teenage boys. Grown men can be pretty darn immature, so I didn't expect more from teenage boys.

What I was particularly disappointed with, though, was the behaviour of some of the kids who called themselves Christian. In fact, by Friday I was convinced they were entirely non-Christian, until I was told they went to church and youth group.

Remember: I've never really dealt with kids at this stage of life; I'm normally used to dealing with university students who are growing into adulthood, and making mature life-decisions. But I never really got how vast the gulf was between Yr 12 and first-year uni.

I guess I can see exactly why it is that Uni is when lots of nominal Christians fall away, and when lots of non-Christians have the chance to think intelligently, critically, and honestly about Christianity.

But the point is, that I was physically sickened by how people who could claim to be Christian could act in such an unChristian way. As if no-one had ever explained before that bearing the name of Christ is an enormous privilege. That to be rescued, called, blessed, saved by Jesus is an honour, a grace, a gift beyond all measure, and that sullying that glorious name with blatantly selfish, unChristian behaviour is the very worst desecration of the 3rd commandment.

I spent a week feeling like I've contended for these kids' HSCs; eking every last possible minute of study out of them; pleading, bullying, exhorting, encouraging them to study. I feel like I ought to have given them every last ounce of me, to contend for their faiths, for their souls, for the name of Jesus Christ.

But instead I guess I rest on the unfailing love of Christ, the righteous judge who will bring all to account. And I rest on his ability to save any that he has called. And I rest knowing that he will reap the harvest he has sown though our feeble efforts.

detur gloria soli deo]]> General http://haoran.untoyou.net/index.php?itemid=761 Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:17:53 +1000